Winter Without End

Short trousers are normally on show by this time of year, with last year's temperatures reaching 23 degrees "C"; not so this year with no rain since the middle of January and the mercury steady at freezing!
My "freebie" in Rome shepherding gaga Cardinals is over, although how they ever elect anything is a mystery, as even those cardinals that know what day of the week it is, all vote for themselves. A secret it will remain as with the announcement of "Exit Omnes" we hired hands must leave them to the conclave. Fortunately there is enough cash left over for us glorified tour guides to have a damn good spree; and it was wonderful to be whisked around the better Roman watering holes by black Fiat with the all important Vatican registration plates, opening every imaginable door.
However my main message is that Scotland is definitely open for business; please ignore the London-centric news broadcasts of widows freezing to death and flocks of sheep lost in drifting snow. This is bollocks! The ski areas are in peak condition and whale and wildlife spotting at sea are frankly unbelievable. The Aurora enchants us every night; all pubs and restaurants offer wonderful seasonal food with an open fire to warm and entertain you.
I will keep all my moans and groans til next month, in the meantime come and enjoy our amazing extended winter!
Yours Aye, Archie, The Baron Trolliagh.

February Message

Gentlemen,
I write on behalf of Lord Trollaigh, who cannot contribute his normal message this month.

Hopefully some will have noted his acceptance of the order "Argentium Secondus Septimus" (ASS) or the Second Class Order of the Seventh Silversmith which has been bestowed by the Vatican.

Whilst this rare order is truly ecumenical it has been granted on the grounds of Lord Trollaigh's Episcopal upbringing, his service to Scottish Presbyterianism and more recently his embracing of  Unitarianism, which he believes is possibly to only hope of combining economic and social regeneration in the Scottish Highlands, to say nothing of the denial of the celebration of Christmas and several other festivals as national holidays.

Unfortunately all Scottish Prelates have resigned following inappropriate behaviour, so Lord Trollaigh has been summoned to Rome to help with the arrangements of the imminent Conclave.

I am pleased to report the safe arrival of the ASS in Rome following a Tweet; "In Vino VeritASS" received earlier today.

Yours in wisdom, Annabell Bumblebee, Secretary to the ASSs.