Middle Manager Dreaming

Seasons greetings and all my best wishes for 2013 to you all. The coming year will see a major change to my scribbling as those hi-tech Kerrs in Glen Orchy are updating The Old House website and my blog space will disappear. No bad thing I hear you cry; however I understand that there will be something called a Twitter Feed and I have been invited to contribute witty, although non controversial comments from time to time. I am not certain when this will all happen as any time I have stomped across the Long Glen for a refreshment at Arichastlich, the office seems to be filled with deep conversations on fonts and photos and my jolly advice about including the words "free" and "drink" to increase interest in the site has been met by sighs.

December has as usual been fairly quiet as the sparse communities in the North Argyll Glens hunker down for the long dark winter, however a bright spot as been a furtive meeting with my Argyll & Bute Council mole who provided me with the low down on how the winter road treatment policy is developed each year.

• A group of 10 middle managers review the previous year's policy. After a weekend at an Isle of Mull 5 star spa hotel, they decide to ignore any consultation on the multitude of errors in the policy and make no changes.
• 5 senior managers consider the spending implications of the policy at a further visit to the same Isle of Mull 5 star spa hotel with their wives or partners and decide to half the budget and come up with the carefully worded information spin that appears to suggest that Argyll & Bute have stockpiled vast quantities of sand and salt for road treatment when in fact the material is secured under a dodgy contract and sitting on a quayside in Poland. £3,000,000 is spent on 10 new snowploughs which will be mothballed in an Inveraray car park on Health & Safety grounds.
• All 15 officials meet to appoint a £250,000 consultant (2 officials declare an interest) to produce a new "Shiny Leaflet".
• The officials and the consultants meet at the Oban Masonic Temple to reallocate the budget to salary and benefit packages and redeploy themselves so that they cannot be contacted over the winter months. The showcase section of the winter road treatment policy is implemented by circle dancing and praying to any Deity that is listening, that no snow will fall or ice develop on Argyll & Bute roads before the next policy review.

True or False? Yours aye, Archie, The Baron Trollaigh.